Relationships are wonderful when they work, but not so great for when they don't. Breaking up is never easy, so what can you do to make it easier? We'll help you decide if staying in a stale relationship is the best option for you.
Relationship Tip #1:
Separate the Past from the Present
If the relationship is over, it's over. Don't try to cling to a ghost of a relationship that existed in the past. The past may be a place you'd love to return to, but if it doesn't exist anymore and hasn't existed for a while, don't waste your time trying to bring back something that only exists in your memories.
Focus on the here and now. Why do you want to stay in a relationship that isn't working for you? Is it fear? Do you worry about being alone? Are you being overly dependent on your partner because it's comfortable to have them around and difficult to imagine life without them?
Relationship Tip #2:
Figure Out What You Want
Why are you in a relationship? Think about all the reasons, especially if it's with someone else. How do you feel when you're with this person? How did things get so bad that you're considering ending it? Have you considered counseling before breaking up?
This will also help the other person. It's hard to be objective about your own relationships or issues, so bringing in a third party is often needed to help sort out what went wrong and how to fix it. It's also good if one person in the relationship has an affair because the person being cheated on may not have a clear picture of why things aren't working anymore.
The problems may not be too difficult to solve, but it's easier if the issues are stated clearly. The first step is always figuring out what you want and what you need from your relationship.
Relationship Tip #3:
Evaluate Your Relationship
You've changed since you started the relationship, so has your partner. It's important to reevaluate your relationship to see if it still makes sense or if it's time to end it.
Is the relationship you want or have you adjusted to what's available? If you've adjusted to something less than what you deserve, be honest with yourself about that.
You can also take these steps with your partner. It's not healthy to go along with something because it's easier than dealing with the consequences. There are always consequences for our actions.
Finding out why a relationship isn't working can be difficult, but it will make it easier if and when you and your partner do break up and get back together again.
Are you working together to make things better? Are you staying in the relationship only for the sake of convenience and familiarity?
It's difficult to give up a relationship, but if it's causing more pain than happiness, it may be time to move on.
Limit your time with this person. Spend time with other people or friends that care about you. Don't let yourself get snared in a trap of "what if"s or "I wonder"s.
Relationship Tip #4:
Put Your Needs First
Don't put your needs on the back burner. If you're always giving in to what your partner wants and never asking for what you need, it's time to start making changes.
You may not feel comfortable doing this at first, but eventually, it will become easier. Your partner won't know how to react if they are used to being the one that gets their way all the time.
Don't take the risk of waiting for them to change or figuring out what you need to do even though it may be uncomfortable.
Relationship Tip #5:
Be Honest with Your Partner
Honesty is an important foundation for any relationship, but especially when a relationship is in trouble. Don't make excuses and don't try to hide things from your partner. Honesty doesn't mean blurting out everything that's on your mind or making accusations. It does mean being open about how you feel and why you feel this way.
Understanding what the other person is feeling is important to make it easier to compromise. There's also a difference between being honest about your feelings and being too honest. Try to find a middle ground where you're not making someone feel insecure or like they're being interrogated.
Relationship Tip #6:
Don't Take Your Partner for Granted
You don't owe your partner anything, so don't act like you do. You can be grateful for what they do, but don't expect them to be grateful for everything that you do.
Your partner wants you to be happy, but they also want you to be honest with them. You don't have to give up your own happiness or dreams just because you're in a relationship.
Relationship Tip #7:
Try to Make Things Better
If you can agree on at least one thing that needs improvement, make a plan for how to fix it. If this is difficult, try writing down your feelings and thoughts so they don't get away from you in the heat of an argument.
Don't feel like you're going to be stuck in the same rut forever. If nothing changes, eventually, you will.
Relationship Tip #8:
Figure Out What Went Wrong
What did you do? What did your partner do? Have you done it before and not realized it? All of these questions need to be answered if the relationship is going to change for the better.
Relationship Tip #9:
Build Trust
Trust is essential to any relationship. It's very difficult to build trust when a relationship isn't working, but it is something you can do if you have some experience in doing so and make good choices.
If you are not trusting of your partner, then figure out why and don't take it personally when they do something that doesn't match up with what you expect. Don't give them the benefit of the doubt when they say one thing but do another.
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