Lust is a powerful, primal feeling and it can lead people to make some pretty questionable decisions. However, the emotional high that lust provides doesn't last long and after a while, it will start to feel increasingly hollow. That's when you may want to examine whether or not your feelings are more than just lust. Here are some ways to tell the difference between love and lust.
1. Love is a feeling of devotion for someone else, while lust is a feeling of physical attraction toward someone else.
Philosopher Thomas Aquinas said it best when he defined love as "to will the good of another. " If you're in love with someone, you want what's best for them and not necessarily what's best for you. Lust, on the other hand, is a feeling of physical attraction to another person. It can be difficult to tell the difference between lust and love if both are present for you.
2. Love is patient and kind, while lust is impatient and demanding.
Lust is the intense desire to have someone right now. But it's probable that lust will fade within time. Love on the other hand is patient, kind, and loyal. It also takes into account the feelings of others in a relationship.
3. Love is effortless; it just happens naturally. Lust requires work and effort on your part to maintain.
Lust may feel like love at first but eventually, you may experience the lack of passion and intense desire that you'd usually experience when in love. This is one of the reasons why it's so easy to fall into lust.
4. Love is a commitment, love means to "will all things." Lust is about possession, and a desire to own someone else.
In love, you're with another person for life and not seeking anything in return. Love has no end goal in mind, but lust has an end goal such as getting sex or money from another person.
5. Love is trusting and open, while lust is controlling and suspicious.
In a relationship based on love, both partners are open and trusting of one another. Lust encourages the idea that you should be with someone because you feel like it's your right and not out of any desire to please that person.
6. Love is secure; lust can never be satisfying.
If you're in love with someone, it's something that you can feel at any moment in time because it means so much to you. Lust is short-lived because when it's not fulfilled, it creates insecurity, and feelings of jealously will eventually emerge.
7. Love is respectful and lust is degrading.
In a loving relationship, both partners are respectful of one another's opinions, values, and beliefs. Lust may start off with respect but eventually, that respect will fade away to demeaning comments and actions towards your partner.
8. Love is fair whereas lust tries to get as much as possible from another person without giving anything in return.
Love does not take advantage of another person. Your partner is not only there for you but also to help and support you in your own personal growth.
9. Love is a long-term commitment whereas lust is a one-night stand, meant to be forgotten as soon as possible.
In a loving relationship, both partners are willing to stick it out and work towards the happiness that they have in common.
10. And perhaps most importantly, love—no matter how you define it—is a choice. Lust is not.
If the only way that love can manifest inside of you is through lust, and the feeling of love doesn't exist when you're in lust, then perhaps your feelings are more than just lust but also your own personal choice.
Philosopher Paul Tillich was right when he said, "Love is a choice." You've probably heard someone say that they're in love before and wondered what that means. It can be tempting to believe that the only way that you can fall in love is if it's a choice.
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